I have a re-accruing dream. It's bizarre and yet it makes sense. In this dream i have a choice - I could go back in time and yet i would have the same wisdom or knowledge that i have now - To the time i had Alix, my oldest daughter.
If i could do that, i could change the course of history with Alix, and things would be soooo different and soooo much better!!!
BUT, if i did that, i probably wouldn't have Rose, my second daughter who i can see being my best Friend through life, because i couldn't stand to stay with her dead-beat father.[And probably sacrifice having Jason with John as well]
So, would i go back in time and change my relationship with Alix? Or leave things the way they are with Alix [really bad] and have this awesome relationship with Rose? [And Jason/John]
It's a tough call, and it pops up in my dreams all the time.
There's only one thing i know for sure 100% in this time travel thing. I would definitely know how to stay thin, and do it! lol

Children Of The Creepiness

I don't watch horror movies or movies where kids get hurt, so i don't know where this dream came from!

*

In this dream i had a son who was just plain evil! He was about 4yo and would just sit and stare, waiting for an opportunity to try and hurt me or anyone who came to the house [It was just me and the boy who lived together] He never spoke.
His bedroom was just across the hall from my room, and whenever i turned my light on at night, i would see his beady little eyes staring at me in the dim light that filled his room. I would turn the light off, wait a minute, turn the light back on, and he would be a bit closer, just staring.
All very creepy! But i wasn't scared of him, we just co-existed together. Despite the fact that he'd stabbed me several times over time!
Then a woman and her daughter [who was about 4 as well] moved in with us. The woman was scared of the boy so she and her daughter slept in my room with me.
He kept trying to stab them and one night i distracted him so the woman and her daughter could get away out the front door. He caught on to them escaping though and i had to restrain him [while he had a great big knife mind you] while they got away. The woman said she wouldn't come back till i dealt with the boy, and i knew the only way i could do that was to kill him.
The problem with that is that no court could possibly understand why i had to kill this child. I would go to jail for a lifetime for killing him and be branded a child killer, when i would actually be saving society from a mass murderer! So i went to his room, [which i never went into] and i found that he was actually cloning himself. There was a set of bunks and on the top was a sleeping baby of himself, about 6 months old. And on the bottom bunk was a boy about 8 years old [of himself]. [3 life sentences].
They were both just as evil as the 4yo. But the 8yo spoke and he wanted me to do something but i can't remember what.
I'd have to start by killing the baby, so i told the 8yo that if he waited a minute, I'll climb in next to him so we can talk.
Then i killed the baby by suffocating him in his sleep. [It was very graphic and i won't go into it because i imagine it would be just like that. It didn't bother me in my dream because it was something that had to be done. But when i woke up i felt horrible that i could dream something like that!]
Then i knelt down to look at the 8yo [who had no idea what had just happened] and said, "Do i look different now?" And he said that i did. I got into bed with him as promised, and he started talking about fencing [building fences] ......and that's where it ended.

Life On The Rocks

2 nights ago i had a dream about a mountainside house. It was a home built into the side of an inaccessibly steep , red-brown rocky mountain by a rich man and it was called "The cactus house" which was odd coz there were no cactuses around it or on the front balcony [also carved out of the rock].
I was with Mum who was a short Asian lady with big hair, and we went to visit the house [Don't ask me how we got to that balcony! lol]
The front door was a huge archway and it had a patted plant on each side of the door. We went inside and the house was very bare. There was a fridge in the kitchen that was like a shop fridge [glass door] and it was full of Pepsi and milk.
There were a few other things in the house, but i left it too long to re-live it and i can't see them in my head any more.
But the back of the house was all ceiling to floor windows, and outside there was giant cactuses of all sorts [Mostly hens and chickens] and in my dream they took my breathe away!
Then the owner of the house came in. He was in his late 20's, early 30's, and he complained that he'd been away, and during that time the local residents had put together a petition to have his house removed because it was in the way of a rock pit [to the left of his house was a lot of fist sized grey rocks covering the ground in about a 50 foot radius, and the neighbours were calling them a rock pit]
He was given time to object but he missed the deadline, so he had to move out of his house. I felt the panic for him. I wanted to rescue the house so badly! But there was no way it could be saved.
He went out on the balcony to be by himself, and Mum followed him out there to flirt with him.
Then i left and that was it :o)

Cooking Up A Storm

This is one of those bizarre dreams where fiction crosses over to reality.
Where i remember this dream starting, John was invited to have a go at cooking in our fav restaurant [which would be Hogs Breath Cafe in reality] during a busy time.
I watched him settle right in to fixing dishes. He kinda looked like someone else, but still looked like him. He was happy and smiling, and as i watched him, i felt really lucky that he was my husband. I admired him and appreciated his every move.
We had a table at the restaurant with my sisters [younger sister and once removed sister] and all of our kids. I decided to order a jaffa [My fav flavour in reality that no-one keeps anymore] thick shake and i counted the change in my wallet. I figured it wouldn't cost any more than the $5 note i had.
They took ages to make the shake, and by the time i got it, there was a white plate with a crumbed prawn on it that looked like a crumbed lamb cutlet. There was something else on the plate, but i can't remember what it was. And then there was the thick shake. The person at the counter said that would be $16. I yelled out to Rose who was at the table, to bring me her wallet because i didn't have enough money. She wasn't fast enough so i went over to the table to get her wallet myself.
I was starting to get frustrated, and for some bizarre reason, I punched a girl in the head who was at our table. I don't know who she was, but she was only about 4 years old!! [And the girl was defiantly NOT my 4yo niece!] ye gads!!!
And in my dream, i just acted like that was normal.
Then suddenly there were people at another table who were trashing my parenting skills. This one woman was attacking every emotional weak point that i have as a parent and she was relentless!!
Then i went for her, to grab her throat and choke her so she'd shut up.
And at that moment i grabbed something in reality. I can only think it was my pillow, but my pillow goes under my head, not beside me, in a grabbing position. I don't know what i did, but it woke me up momentarily.
Then We all left the restaurant [minus John] in my sisters car, a beat up brown commodore. We stopped at a newsagent where i checked 3 of my sisters lotto tickets for her. The newsagent checked the tickets by slotting them into a cloth pocket. None of the tickets won anything.
Then we all piled in the car and drove off.

Don't know where :o)

The Biggest Dreamer

In this dream, I applied for a spot on the coming up Australian version of The Biggest Loser that is for couples with John.
We got in and i was soooo happy!
On the first day of filming it became apparent that Dr Phil was hosting the show and calling the shots. And he wasn't as nice as he is on his show. He was abrupt and impatient.
All 12 couples that got in were sitting around a big round table, and Dr Phil was going over some ground rules [on camera]. I was really nervous and kept making dumb jokes that just came across as negative attitude. Dr Phil said we'd be using the old metric system instead of the new one, and i said, "Nope, i ain't using the old one." Then Dr Phil got really angry and told me we had to leave the show.
He said i wasn't serious about losing weight and it was obvious that i just didn't really want to be here. I protested and begged to stay, but John and i were escorted out and back to our motel.
The following day Dr Phil came over with a little red plastic kids car [like Little Tikes] and that was what we had to drive away from the show in. I knew that was serious.
John was okay with the whole thing, weather we were on the show or not.
Dr Phil gave me some paper work, along with his phone number, and told me that i needed to come up with a way to prove to him that I'm serious about being on the show to lose weight, and by a certain time, and then he left.
I kept trying to call him but the number kept being busy or it would ring out, and i started to panic. He only lived down the road, so when i only had a few minutes left on my deadline, i got in the little red car and started driving to his house [over our front lawn that was covered in that awful cooch grass]. But i was stopped by some plain clothed police officers before i even got out of the driveway. It was a man and a woman, and they were employed by Dr Phil to council people who were no longer on the show.
I said that i was just on my way to Dr Phil's place because i couldn't get him on the phone, but they said it was too late and our spot in the house was now gone.
I was really peeved off and they took me inside to calm me down. On the couch, they sat on either side of me and told me whatever it took to get me to forget about my interest in the show. I still really wanted to call Dr Phil, but i pretended it wasn't that important to me anymore just so the police officers would leave. But they didn't, once they thought everything had calmed down, They let their kids in the house so they could play with my kids. So then i had to wait even longer!
All the kids went out a side door of the house where there was a whole lot of cut wood that they had to play around.
By the time the families had gone home, it was dark and it had been raining. I went down to where Dr Phil's house was and there were market stalls out the front selling Biggest Loser merchandise & The contests were selling the stuff. I picked up a few things and noticed that John and i were still listed as contestants. I looked at an address book that had a pink plastic see-through cover and there were cartoon type cut outs of the contestants [sorta like the male/female cut outs on bathroom doors] and i was heaps fatter than John!
John was waiting for me down the end of the street so i walked with another [male] contestant as i walked over to him. We talked and he said that our replacement contestants had already been picked and that now there were 16 contestants instead of 12. He also said that the contestants weren't really allowed to tell us anything and that he shouldn't be talking to me. My panic had subsided and even though i was still peeved, i wasn't going to be losing sleep over it.
So i thanked him and walked over to John, who was watching some people play a game in the street. Then he took me home.

High Priced Snobbery

I took the kids to a casual friends place, Teressa. We are friends through our little country school and mostly because my daughter, Rose, who is friends with her daughter.
When we got to Teressa's place she was packing stuff up because they were moving house. For some odd reason most of the stuff was packed on the stair case, though not obstructive.
As she pottered around, i looked out of their lounge room window. They lived on a hilltop, overlooking all of our little town with a population of 3500 [in reality] [Her sister lives on a house on a hill that overlooks our town, but the house it the dream was nothing like hers]
I told her the view was breathtaking. And she said that the house hadn't been listed to rent yet, so if we want it, go see the estate agent now and it should be all ours.
I said, "Nahh, we own our house so we can't move into this one" Then she went to hang out some washing on the 'permanent' retractable clothesline that was right outside the window. I said "That must be a real pain to have there!"
I looked around the house and noticed that no matter how much they packed up, the amount of stuff they had didn't seem to diminish. But the house was huge and roomy, and a horrid light apricot colour [eeewww].

Teressa said she was having a party because she was turning 50 [I always thought she looked a little older that the 27 she told me she was, but 50??? i don't think so! yet in my dream i wasn't surprised.] Then she said that she was inviting everyone she knew but she didn't want me to go because i might dance and embarrass her. Apparently I'd danced in front of that window once before, and she didn't want me doing it again and in front of people. It wasn't even a "dance". More like a jiggle along to the music that was playing!
I felt really hurt by that. Not insulted, but left out and isolated.
Then Teressa went and sat with her friends in another room because the party was starting.
So i left, but i left the kids there because they were welcome, and expected at the party.
I walked home down a long winter road. There were bare winter trees along both sides of the road and the sky was grey.
Then i went to find my sister, Rochelle. She lived in a busy city, in a high rise apartment building and she was a bit of a jet setter with high profile friends. Her flat was small and the furniture was expensive.
There was this guy living with her who was tall and skinny with shoulder length 'dirty' blond hair. He was a business associate of hers but she also used him for an occasional shag. [Rochelle is happily married with a daughter, living in a suburb in reality]
We walked around a few streets and Rochelle showed me some sights. Then we went back to her place and the tall guy showed me his awesome tan coloured ugg boots that Kylie Minogue had bought him. On the right side of the boots were summer embroidered/appliqued scenes such as bushy trees and a sun. And on the left of the boots were bare winter trees and a moon.

My kids were back with me again, but younger. I stayed a couple of nights at Rochelle's but i was ready to pack the kids up and go home. The kids were playing on a child size plastic table and it was day time. They were by a window and a lovely summer breeze was blowing the light white curtain around beside them. I went out onto a balcony [and it was now night time] to text John and tell him that i missed him and i wanted him to come and get me. But the text wouldn't go through and i started feeling desperate because i couldn't reach him.
In the meantime, the tall guy shut the balcony sliding door and locked it. The curtains were closed and they couldn't see me out there while they watched tele. I knocked on the door to be let back in but they couldn't hear me, or pretended not to. So i lay on the balcony and tried to go to sleep.

And that's it :o)

Finding The Way Where?

I know this dream started a bit further back, but this is what i clearly remember:

I was in a church but the people were actually the cast of Neighbours. There was a party and someone declared that it was time for everyone to get their clothes off. The women would stand on one side of the room and the men on the other. Someone would turn the light off and the two groups would walk toward each other. Whoever they met up with first, they had sex with [I know right? In a church??? lol] This didn't actually happen, i just saw it happening in my head as if someone was explaining it to me.
I left the room and went upstairs to find my kids. All the kids that were there, including my own, were off watching a video or something.
I was standing in a bedroom [Where i realised the kids were someone else] and a male friend [in reality] came in and said he wondered where I'd got to. He had been downstairs to partake in the 'activities' down there but he said he had come to look for me because it was me he wanted to do it with.
So he got into the single bed and i stood by the bed, turned the light off and took my clothes off. I got into bed with him but didn't touch him. I didn't feel awkward. I actually felt really comfortable, i just didn't need to go any further with him. [I am not attracted to this guy at all in reality. I have never had a slightly impure thought about him at all! But there was one time, ages ago, that i saw him at the swimming pool. I felt a bit awkward about some male that i knew, seeing me in my swimmers. I am 370+ lbs after all. I never thought anything of it after that though, and when I've bumped into him i haven't thought about it either.]
As we lay there, one of his young pre-school aged kids came into the room. Apparently the kids movie had finished and the room started filling up with different kids. So i got up [and was dressed] and went off to find my kids.
When i found them, we [Me, Rose and Jason] walked through a market place where no-one was selling anything. At the other end of the market we got into a taxi. The driver was part Indian or Arab and he stopped at various places that we didn't ask him to,around the back streets.One of those places was a petrol station. But the station was a drive-through pub as well. The station worker [who was also Indian or Arab] gave the taxi driver a free stubbie of beer, and told him that they had too much beer so they were giving one away to each customer.
The kids and i didn't like the taxi driver, He treated us like we were bothering him somehow and he didn't talk with us.
I'm not sure what happened after that. When we left the petrol station, the dream kinda drifted off somewhere else after that that i don't remember.